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Once a cancer patient, always a cancer patient?

September 22, 2010

Now that I’m nearing the end of surgeries, I’m starting to wonder…will I reach a moment in time when cancer is not a huge part of who I am? For me, it seems to somehow surface in daily conversations…maybe because I let it. When I have trouble remembering things, I jokingly, “blame it on the chemo.” When I encounter new employees in training sessions at the office, it always seems to emerge somehow. For better or worse, I have a tendency to divulge a bit of details regarding the last two years of my life. 

Maybe it’s because I feel extremely comfortable, or maybe it’s because my story seems so compelling to me that I feel the need to share it. I don’t regret my impulses to do this at this point; however, I often wonder…does this tendency ever go away? There’s a part of me that loves this part of who I am now. And there’s also a part of me that longs for the old me…the person I was before cancer. I guess at the end of the day, I’m just a mutt…a combination of the old me and the new me. I guess I just answered my own question…cancer never goes away completely. It becomes part of your life permanently. And you can embrace that or you can suppress it. Me…I prefer to wear it like a tattoo. But that’s just me…I’m a little “out there.”

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8 comments

  1. I am still just so proud of you. You are my hero, more ways than one. You wear the “tatoo” well! Love you!


  2. Thanks Judy! You ladies were all with me when I went to the tattoo parlor. Thank goodness for great, supportive friends like you.


  3. I think a tattoo could be a great way to commemorate what you’ve gone through and capture the new and old you – just as you are right now.

    love ya sis


    • Oh, I was talking about tattoos figuretively, not literally. I don’t think I could do the tattoo thing at all. Too worried about what it would look like when I’m 70. LOL! But I’m really glad that you convinced me to do the blog. If nothing else, it’s a theraputic way to get my thoughts down. I enjoy it immensely. I just hope that, over time, my voice continues to be relevant and meaningful. Love you, John!


  4. I’m so glad I came across your blog. You are so inspiring!
    Can’t wait to read more of your posts.


    • Thank you, Liz! Welcome to my crazy journey through breast cancer and spina bifida (my daughter). It has been a wild ride, but sharing my story has been so rewarding. Thanks for reading.


      • Having a special needs child is not easy (I have one, too.)


      • Wow, Liz. While my little one has special needs, they aren’t half as bad as they could have been. We’ve been pretty lucky, all things considered.



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