The First Day of Mommyhood

January 15, 2011

The day I delivered Chemobaby was a long one that began with a C-section at 5:30 AM. After our brief introduction, she was whisked off to be cleaned up, measured and stabilized. She would have surgery to repair the opening in her spine later that day. After the C-section delivery, I was taken into a different operating room to have my tubes tied. I had chosen to undergo this procedure for several reasons:

  1. Cancer meds I would be on for the next five years were not safe to get pregnant on, so the age I could safely conceive at again would be about 44. I did not want  to have a child at that age because the risks of birth defects is so high.
  2. Knowing that I already birthed a child with a birth defect, I thought I would pretty much have my hands full raising a special needs child. I decided one child was all that I was going to have. (Little did I know at the time that the chemo would eliminate my reproductive abilities anyway.)

Anyway, the hours after the tubal procedure were a total blur. I felt like I had eaten a half dozen magic mushrooms! During my hazy state, one of the doctors that performed surgery on Chemobaby brought me a picture of the sac that had been detached from her back that had been taken on his IPhone. I remember thinking to myself, “Dude, I am so out of it right now. You might as well be showing  me a picture of the Mona Lisa right now…not that I would know the difference!”

Several hours after recovery, I was transported to the hospital room that I would live in for the next four days. And as luck would have it, Chemobaby’s surgery was behind schedule by several hours. Hurry up and wait…I just wanted to see my baby! Finally, nearly twelve hours after her arrival, I finally got to see her. It would be 3-4 days until I would see her pretty brown eyes, though. The first couple of days her eyes were clenched shut, and I affectionately referred to her as “Magoo.” You see the resemblence don’t you?



  1. I just found your blog. I was diagnosed with Stage IIIC breast cancer while 6 months pregnant at age 37 (last year). My chemo was delayed until after delivery (which was induced 5 weeks premature). Then I had a mastectomy in June and finished up radiation in August. I live near Houston and have the blessing of being a patient of Dr. Ther. you mention in one of your posts. My baby is now 14 months old. I completely understand how cancer changes how you view life. I live so much more intentionally now. My baby does not have any special needs. But it was pretty crazy around here during my cancer treatment, as he is my sixth child. My children’s ages during my cancer treatment were 10, 6, 5, 3, 2 and newborn. It was hard to meet their needs while taking care of my own health needs. I am getting more energy back lately, and I am thankful for each day. God bless you.

    • Hi Paula! Six kids! God bless YOU! I can’t even imagine having to juggle the needs of that many people. I am glad to hear that you are finished with treatments and are feeling better. It is an interesting journey being pregnant with cancer, isn’t it? It sounds like you are an incredible woman with an amazing family. I know we’ll never take another day in life for granted. Best of luck to you and I hope you’ll continue to follow me here. Happy New Year to you!

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