When is it “too soon” to tell?

June 2, 2011

Every woman who becomes pregnant must deal with the decision of when to tell people about the pregnancy and who they will share this information with. Sometimes, she will choose to tell people in groups, only sharing information with immediate family early on and perhaps share information with others at a later time. At least that’s what most people do.

I didn’t have that luxury, because frankly, I’m a terrible liar. Remember, I got diagnosed with cancer first, so I had a surgical plan and a chemotherapy regimen put together pretty quickly after the diagnosis. So when the baby was discovered just prior to surgery two, I had already told everyone that I would start chemo in June of 2008. So any attempt by me to craft an explanation as to why I would not start chemo until mid-July was ill-fated from the beginning.

“What do you mean they’re delaying your chemo until mid-July?” people would say. “Why would they possibly do that?” I had no good lie to come up with. Nothing I could dream up made any sense. And then, there’s the whole “I’m a terrible liar” part. So, even though I was only six weeks along at the time, I told everyone the truth. Even though one in four pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage and I might possibly live to regret disclosure, I told people about Chemobaby.

And, while no one is ever really out of the woods with regard to having a miscarriage, I mentally noted that I would breathe a sigh of relief when we reached the twelve-week mark. And with every week prior to that milestone that ended uneventful, and every ultrasound where I saw her there, bopping around and thriving, I unleashed a silent “Hallelujah.” And at twelve weeks, when everything was as it should be, I thought to myself, “You made it, Baby. You are meant to be here, to walk this earth, to be in my life.”

I knew…my “love” was here to stay.



  1. Of course she was here to stay. She’s a tough broad … just like her mama! Love you, Amanda Panda & Nancy! – Dina

  2. As always, your post brings a little tear to my eye and a little uplifting feeling in my heart. I love you NeeNee.

    • To my regular followers, Dina and Cyndi, thank you for reading and posting. Love you both!

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